BEST TIME TO WRITE

9-18-17 . THEY SAY THE BEST TIME TO WRITE IS WHEN YOU ARE SAD OR HURT OR LONELY OR THAT YOU FEEL ELATED OR ON A MOUNTAIN TOP HIGH.

What if your dog dies?

I had to put my dog down today.  I have been crying ever since.  I cried yesterday too,  I cried a week ago.  I cry because at first, I knew this day would come.  I knew he was getting worse, having trouble walking etc.  Shepherds get that where their legs get paralysis in them.  Their spine starts showing.  I kept him around for me.  I didn't want to do it.  I didn't want to be the one to end his life.  I knew he had a good life, a strong life,  he loved a girl, he had a family,  actually two families,  one of his own and all of us.  He was never on a leash except when I went to the vet or He was in training.  He loved only one girl dog all his life.  He was a very good pet,  he was part of the family,  his real name was Sir Boomerang Avalanche.  He was 11 years old.  I loved him.  I still do.  He is gone now and lives only in my memories.  He had the best life a dog could have,  he lived on 10 acres and could poop anywhere.  He had steak and ribs more times than I can count.  He got to chase anything he wanted.  He got to sleep on a sunny deck and jump in the snow in Winter.  I took him camping and fishing with me.  He lived a very good, long life.  I think dogs should last forever.  I wish he could have lasted my entire life but alas I had to let him go.  I am not sure all this coming and going is very good at all.  I do not like death,  not in the least.  I know it wasn't meant to be like this from the beginning but I understand why things must die.  I understand the circle of things,  I just don't like it sometimes.  So here I am with my heart in my hands.  I am exhausted and tired from all these tears.  I know life must go on but my heart aches.  I will get over it, eventually, but for now, I will lean into the pain and let it absorb me so I can grieve long and hard and then it can be over and I will have closure.  I am not brave or strong today, I am just a sad little girl who loved her puppy.  I know many of you who hurt and have lost and have loved.  It will be another sunny day again,  I promise.